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The Galaxy’s Secret Plan to Bury the Earthquakes Playoff Hopes

By losing in spectacular fashion on Sunday, the Galaxy made it one step harder for the San Jose Earthquakes to make the playoffs. What if it was a coordinated plan?

Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

What we might have heard if we joined the Galaxy locker room at halftime of Sunday's 5-2 loss to the Portland Timbers...

"Ok team. Here's the deal. You know what I hate? I hate losing games we don't have to win. But you know what I hate more than losing? The San Jose Earthquakes. So, I know you've hit the woodwork a couple times and enjoyed the lion share of the chances in the first half. As we head back out for the second 45 minutes, let's tone it down a little.

Omar, think you can get burned a couple times on defense for us?

Gargan, how's your tackling form been lately?

Midfield, please leave any creativity you brought with you today in the locker room at halftime. I don't want to see any of it back out there on the pitch.

I'm going to give Jose Villarreal some playing time because fans are starting to wonder if he's still alive. If he creates a scoring chance, and I'm sure he will, make sure we give up a goal as fast as possible afterwards. Did you see Mike Grella earlier today? Seven seconds is fast. But I bet we can beat that if we need to. We've got it in us.

Big Cat, you worked hard in the first half to do your part to give the Timbers every opportunity you could. Keep that up.

Keano, Keano, Keano. We all know you can hit a ball perfectly first time off the bounce for a goal. Save it for the playoffs, will ya?

Sure, we could wrap up a top 2 finish in the Western Conference today if we needed to. That would give us a first round bye and home field advantage in the next round. But why not wait until next week? It will keep the fans on the edge of their seat and give the bloggers something to write about.

Besides, last year we lost our crucial last game but still won MLS Cup. I'm sure we can do the same again this year.

Ok bring it in. "Quakes suck" on three. 1...2...3